


Grant Me Serenity

by HPfanonezillion



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Addiction, Alcoholism, Anorexia, F/M, Recovery, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 18:42:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4070509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPfanonezillion/pseuds/HPfanonezillion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haymitch is working very hard to keep his depressed, suicidal sister around for his nieces sake. It's hard with his own well-being on the line as a recovering alcoholic. As an addiction counselor, he encounters Effie who is addicted to diet pills and struggling with anorexia. He falls for her, but must keep it to himself despite feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you have read Art and Other Distractions, you read a bit of Haymitch and Effie's story. Here is a more in-depth version of that story. It deals with addiction, mental illness, anorexia, and recovery. If I ever write anything that is incorrect or insensitive, please let me know so I can change it. It is never my intention to offend or give false representation of these realities. All comments are welcome. You can come visit me on Tumblr at booksrockmyface if you want to send an anonymous message or speak in private about your personal experiences to give perspective.

Haymitch stood from the table. "Listen, Iris, I know it's rough, but you could fix this. I know you can."

Iris looked up at her brother and shook her head. "No, I can't. I can't do it anymore. Katniss is Prim's mom. I'm just the one that gave birth to them. They have each other. It's just best..."

"I'm taking you to the hospital. You can't keep doing this to them." He put his hand under her arm and lifted her to her feet. "If you're suicidal again, this is the last place you need to be."

She blinked a few times and nodded. "I guess you're right."

"You need to fight me, Iris."

"Why? So you can feel better about yourself for locking me away in the nuthouse?"

Haymitch sighed. "You're the one who called me over here to tell me you're feeling like hurting yourself. I can't, as your brother and a counselor, keep that admission to myself. I'm taking you to a hospital." He waited until she had her shoes on and her bag and led her out the door. He sent Katniss a text to call when she got off work. "Had to use vacation time." He said.

"Sorry." She mumbled.

He reached across the console and patted her knee. "Please follow all their instructions this time. If you'd get your prescriptions filled and stick to it—"

"Yeah, I know." She pushed his hand away. "Clean living doesn't work for the rest of us, you know."

He sighed and faced forward. "Look, sis, I just want what's best for those girls, especially Prim. You haven't given her much of a chance. And she loves you. Doesn't their love matter?"

"Katniss doesn't love me. She resents me." Iris twisted her hands in her lap.

Haymitch nodded. "Maybe a little. But don't you see how she would feel that way? She was eleven when her daddy died and you went away, too. You left her to take care of herself and Prim both." He looked over. "Do you know that's why I finally quit drinking and got back to work? I was unstable, too, but didn't want those girls separated."

"Shut up, Haymitch. You don't know anything that I'm going through."

"That man's been gone seven years. Time to find a way over it."

"And you don't think I've tried?" Her voice rose louder than her normal volume, she was rather soft-spoken unless she was angry. Haymitch knew then he'd poked the bear just a bit too much.

"You want to be angry, Iris, go on and be angry, but don't you dare take it out on me. None of this is my fault." He gripped the steering wheel with both hands and went silent.

Iris gritted her teeth and stared out the other window. "The medication doesn't always work." She admitted softly.

"Then they can try something else this time." He said as he pulled into the parking lot of the hospital.

Iris was still reluctant, but did everything she was supposed to. Everything she'd done a million times before. Haymitch stayed with her until she was processed. He didn't say anything. This was old hat to them by now.

Before she was brought back, Iris hugged her brother tight. "Take care of them, Haymitch." She begged.

Haymitch held her close and said nothing. He always took care of the girls. He might as well be Dad to them.

He stepped away and walked out of the building. His phone started ringing as he started the car. "Katniss?"

"Yeah. What's going on? Is Mom okay?" There was worry in her voice.

"Checked her into the hospital." He said. He pulled out onto the highway. "She called after she got Prim to school. She was talking like she wanted to do something. I talked her down and convinced her to come here. Again."

There was a pause. "Okay."

"Look, if you and Prim want, you can come stay with me for a while."

"No, I think we're okay." She swallowed. "I think I want to petition for guardianship or custody or something. I already sign mom's name to everything. I should start signing mine. I'm an adult." She sighed. "Barely."

"You should do it. I wanted to take custody of you two forever ago, but she never let me. I just hovered close until I was sure you could handle yourself."

"You still hover." Katniss said affectionately. "And I appreciate it." She paused again. "Do you want to take custody?"

"No, I want you to. You've been doing it long enough. You know her better than me, anyway."

"Thank you. I'll go to the courthouse now and see what I have to do."

"Good." He stopped the car outside the rehab facility where he worked. "Let me know what you find out. I'll have my phone close."

"Okay. I will." She paused. Awkwardly she said, "I love you, Uncle Haymitch."

He chuckled uncomfortably. "Me too, kid." He hung up and gathered his things from the back. He stepped inside the lobby to see it filled with patients. The clinic was a residence facility, but they also did out-patient work with their clients for several months after release.

He caught sight of a slight woman with large eyes and hair to match. The dress she wore was as green as a highlighter. The shoes and makeup were the same shade. She was jittery and very thin. Most of the patients they saw were addicted to alcohol, like he had been, or other drugs ranging from pain-killers to meth to huffing paint. But he could see this woman, as tiny and malnourished as she was, was one of the people who also had some eating disorder. As jittery as she was, he guessed she was either addicted to coke or diet pills or a mixture of both. He'd been working in the facility long enough, and had been around them when he'd been a client here himself nearly two decades before, to pick out the addiction before he even consulted with them. He could see the fight in the woman as she filled out the paperwork. She wanted to beat this before it beat her.

He walked into the employee break room and clocked in. The head nurse was in there fixing a cup of coffee. Alma was her name and she ran a very tight ship, making sure anyone that needed medication got it and cracking down on the trading of drugs among the patients. If they were caught dealing, both involved were out and were only allowed one second chance, no matter how many people tried to convince her otherwise.

She'd say, "They commit to getting better or they leave my clinic. I'd rather not even give them a second chance."

"How's your sister?" She asked as Haymitch went to work making his own coffee.

He sighed. "Alive. For now. I wish mental illness were like addiction. Then she could just get over it with steps. But she refuses to stay on her meds and keep up with therapy and then she gets suicidal again." He sipped his coffee.

"At least she's still talking about it before it happens. That means she realizes she needs help." She patted his arm. "You two will be fine. So will those girls."

"Thanks. Anyone new for me to see?" They walked out to the lobby and picked up the sign-in sheet.

"Let's see. " She perused the names. "Most of these are group sessions. You have a free exam time." She pointed to the pile of intake papers. "Effie Trinket. She came here several years ago while you were dealing with your relapse. I remember the name. Anorexia and addiction to diet pills." She indicated with her head. "I think she needs a kick in the pants. And she's all yours."

He nodded and looked over her paperwork for a few minutes. "Room two?"

"Yeah, I think it's free." Alma said.

"Effie?" Haymitch called.

The jittery blonde looked up and blinked a couple times before she stood.

Haymitch held out his hand. "I'm Haymitch. Would you like to come have a talk with me?"

She looked at his hand a moment before she slipped hers into it and shook it. "Sure."

"Follow me." He reluctantly let go of her hand and walked into the next portion of the facility. He opened a door to an exam room with a number 2 on the door. He motioned to the sofa and a chair set along one wall.

Effie took a seat on the chair and sat ramrod straight.

Haymitch nodded and pulled a computer cart to the end of the sofa farthest from her and opened it up. "So, tell me a bit about yourself while this thing loads up." He wasn't very friendly most of the time, but he could feel she needed a kinder person for now.

"I'm Effie Trinket. I'm a model. I have a lot of friends in high fashion." She paused and looked down at her hands in her lap. "I collapsed on the runway last week. It was a big show. I was told that if I don't get help... I don't want to die." Tears sprang to her eyes.

Haymitch quickly handed her a box of tissues. The computer was up, so he started typing. "So you would say your problem is what exactly?"

"I take diet pills. Every time I'm hungry, I pop a pill. And every time I'm not hungry, I pop a pill. As soon as I get up, I take a pill and a glass of water. And then another pill an hour later with just enough water to swallow it. I repeat that every two or three hours until bed where I take another pill with a glass of water."

"Do you drink anything else?" He asked as he typed in all her information.

"Coffee on occasion. Cocktails at parties. Lots of cocktails. I like a good Cosmo."

Haymitch chuckled. "I'd love a Cosmo."

She sniffed and smiled. "You don't strike me as the frou-frou drink type."

"Any alcohol is my type ." He said with a self-deprecating grin. "I'm a recovering alcoholic."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I came here when I was nineteen. Went to get my degree in counseling after that. Worked hard to come here. I like the philosophy here. So I've experienced everything before. I'm not just going to talk about your problems and how to fix them because I learned about them in a classroom. I'll talk with you from the perspective of knowing how it feels to _need_ something to keep you going. I'm here to help, Effie. I want to save your life."

She swallowed and nodded. "Thank you."

"Let me finish getting some information and we can get you admitted and get to work." He went back to the computer. He listened to her voice as she spoke in soft tones. There was a ghost of a smile on her lips at times. And others there were lines of fear and worry creasing her face into that of someone much older than 29. It tugged at his heart much more than anyone else ever did. She was so desperate for help. Most people, he supposed, were still reluctant at this step.

"Okay, Effie, I think we can get you a room set up. Let me send your paperwork through and then we can get started. I'll give you a tour of the place and a run-down of the rules."


	2. Chapter 2

The first several days were difficult for Effie. They made her eat. She hadn't eaten anything more than an olive from her martini in years. She'd grown pretty good at faking it for those that loved her, but these people watched her like a hawk.

She complained about it to Haymitch in their session. "It's like I'm a criminal."

"You want to get better, Effie, you have to eat. I know it's hard because when I was drinking heavy, I couldn't eat a lot. And when I started to detox, every smell made me ill. I just wanted to stay in bed and get over it, but they wouldn't let me."

"So how did you fix it?" She asked.

"The first time it was knowing I had family who cared. My mom was still alive and she worried. The second time, it was after my brother-in-law died. I relapsed because of that and because my mother had recently passed. I got better because my sister had severe depression. I needed to be there for her girls because I knew my sister wasn't going to seek help if I didn't."

"So here you are." She said.

"Here I am. And here you are. So I want to talk about you now. Let's go back to the first time you realized this was a problem. Do you remember?"

She thought about it a moment and said, "I think I remember being about twelve when I started feeling wrong. My mother was a beautiful woman. And she died. And I… I felt my father didn't love me. So I started holding back on food. It was many years. I would go back to eating regularly and then he'd say something about my weight and then I'd go on another diet. I never had a period. I didn't know that wasn't normal. But I did suddenly when I was twenty and I freaked out because I didn't know what was happening.

"And that's when I discovered I can never have children." Effie said hollowly. "Not that I want them or think that I'll ever want them, but now I don't have a choice in the matter."

Haymitch made a note and nodded. "Sometimes we don't realize the impact of our actions until we are removed from choice as a result."

She nodded. "Do you have children?" She blushed and looked away. "I'm sorry, that's not my business."

"It's fine." He closed down his computer. "No, I don't have any of my own. But I have a couple nieces I've had a good hand in raising. Katniss is eighteen, just turned it a few months ago. And Prim is fourteen." He smiled proudly. "Our session is done. For your group therapy tomorrow, I want you to say something about this. It's not a comfortable subject, but it's one you should discuss. Some of the other residents have similar issues."

She nodded. "I'll consider it."

"That's good enough." He held out his hand and waited for her to place her own in it. He squeezed. "We're just starting, Effie. There's nowhere else to go but up."

"And up, up, up." She smiled.

Their eyes locked. For many seconds Haymitch couldn't look away and it didn't appear that Effie could either.

Finally she blinked and removed her hand from his. "Could I have a visitor?"

"I think we can arrange it." He stood and motioned for her to leave the room ahead of him. "We'll get you a form to fill out and then the person will have to be cleared. Your first visit will be completely supervised. The second might be as well. If we feel the person won't be bringing anything illegal in to you, we can allow you a little more freedom."

"Can I call him?"

"Sure." He brought her to the common room and sat her down in front of a bank of phones. He had her dial the number while he held the phone. "What's his name?"

"Cinna. He designs dresses." She smiled anxiously.

The phone connected and a smooth voice said, "Hello?"

"Hello, is this Cinna?" Haymitch asked.

"It is." The man said a little skeptically.

"This is Haymitch Abernathy. I'm with The Coriolanus Snow Treatment Facility and I have Effie Trinket here with me. Would you be willing to talk to her?"

"Hell yes." He said happily.

Haymitch handed over the phone and Effie lit up.

"Cinna!"

"Effie! How the hell are you?" He chuckled.

"I'm much better. I've been eating." She was proud of herself.

"Every meal?" He asked.

"Every meal. And I even eat a snack before bed. I didn't want to at first, but I'm so used to it now. And I've gained a few pounds."

"I wish I could see you. And no more pills?"

"Never again." She said resolutely. "Would you like to come visit me? Haymitch said you could. I just have to fill out some papers."

"I would love a visit. Can I bring my latest sketches? I'm working on a new collection."

Effie relayed the question and Haymitch took the phone back. "You will be searched upon arrival. No drugs of any kind or you will never be allowed back."

Cinna said, "I understand, sir. Effie is a really good friend and I want her better. She's also my best model, so I need her healthy."

Haymitch said, "Just so you are aware. I'll give you back to Effie. You have ten minutes to make arrangements and say farewells."

"Thank you." He said.

Effie got back on the phone. "When can you come?"

"Is Saturday okay?" He asked. "I have meetings with some clients and models the rest of the week."

"I wish I could be part of this show." She sighed.

"When you're better maybe." He said. "We'll talk when I come Saturday."

"I can't wait to see you, Cinna."

She could hear his smile when he said, "I can't wait to see _you_ , Effie."

She hung up the phone and looked to Haymitch. "Is it appropriate to hug you?"

He chuckled awkwardly. "No, it isn't. But I can tell you're in much better spirits. I want to warn you, though, that if you get back into modeling once you're better here, you may relapse."

She nodded. "I understand. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes."

"I hope so." He stood and motioned her toward the desk. "I'll get you those papers. Give them to Nurse Coin when you're done and she'll get them to the right place."

"I don't give it to you?" She asked almost innocently.

He smiled. "End of my shift."

"Oh." She deflated a little.

"Your friend will be here in a couple days. And I'll be back tomorrow. We have our group session. Think about what we talked about today."

"Okay." She nodded and held the papers to her chest. "See you tomorrow."

Haymitch gathered his things and left. His first stop was the hospital to visit Iris. He found Katniss and Prim already there. The younger girl sat beside her mother and chattered on and on about school. Katniss looked uncomfortable. Iris just stared off into nothing.

"Hey, guys." He said as he stepped into the room.

Katniss looked up and a relieved smile came across her face. "Haymitch."

"Katniss. How was work today?" He asked.

"I was off today. Did some important errands." She pulled some papers out of her pocket. "Since you're here, we can talk about something. You have power of attorney, Haymitch. Mom is still kind of out of it. But she's still here." She leaned toward her mother. "Mom, I want custody of Prim. I have these papers. Right now all I'll get will be official guardianship. I'm going to have Haymitch sign them if he wants. And then we'll go to court once you're out of here and you can fight me if you want."

Haymitch said, "Hand over that pen."

Prim watched the exchange. She looked to their mother. She said softly, "I know this is a good idea, but I still don't like it."

"What don't you like about it?" Katniss asked.

"She's our mom."

Iris placed her hand on Prim's arm. "It's okay, baby." She gave Katniss a grateful look and then went back to staring off into nothing.

"So have you had a good day, Iris?" Haymitch asked.

She nodded. "We had meatloaf sandwiches for lunch. Mama's was always better."

"Of course it was." He said. "Mama was a fantastic cook. You're good, too."

Iris shook her head. "Not as good as Mama."

"Just as good as Mama. She taught you everything she knew."

His sister nodded.

They sat and talked for a few more minutes until a nurse came in and asked if Iris wanted to eat in the dining room or in her room. She chose the dining room and hugged her family.

The three left together, walking in silence. At their cars, Prim got in and crossed her arms.

Katniss signed. "I don't know what else I was supposed to do. She hasn't been a real mother to Prim for a long time."

"I know. There was nothing else. She can stay at home now. The only other options are to let her go into the foster system or I could petition for custody. You did the best thing for her, Katniss."

"Are you sure?"

"I am." He squeezed her shoulder. "You're doing a good job, kid."

"Thank you." She patted his hand on her shoulder and then got into her car.

He watched her drive away before he got into his own to head to his empty house.


	3. Chapter 3

Effie paced her room most of the day. She tried to refuse to eat, but they said if she didn't then her visitor would be turned away. So she ate. And she hated every bite. She wanted to look her best for her friend, but she felt this was wrong. Her body had stopped revolting, but her mind still hadn't.

Cinna arrived and she was escorted out to the visitors' room. They were seated closest to the desk where a disapproving nurse named Glimmer watched over them.

Effie threw her arms around Cinna's neck and hugged him tightly. "Oh, I missed you so."

"I missed you, too." He said. He rubbed her back and then stepped away and looked her over. "How do you feel?"

"I've gained five pounds. I'm learning healthy eating habits and proper exercise. And I've been talking about things. I've started to figure out the root of my problems so that I can fix them."

Her friend smiled and patted her hand. "Good for you."

They sat in silence for a few moments and then Effie pointed to his portfolio. "Will you show me what you brought?"

He smiled and opened up the binder as he moved a little closer to her. "I'm on a roll with these. This one is my favorite. It's going to gather here in the middle."

Effie looked at the drawing and then to her friend. "It's pretty."

"What? How do you think I should fix it?" He put his hand on top of hers. "Talk to me, Effie."

"It's just…" She trailed her finger down the edge of the page. "Don't you think that's going to be uncomfortable? A lot of women are uncomfortable with that area of their bodies. Especially me." She looked up at him. "I'm sorry. Do it how you want."

Cinna patted her back. "I'll fix it." He pulled a pencil out of his bag and turned the page over and started drawing. "What if it gathered at the shoulder and draped down to the opposite waist? That would elongate the body a bit, don't you think?"

She watched him sketch and then nodded. "And if you make it floor-length, it will look lovely and flowy." She smiled. "I miss spending time with you while you do this."

"You've only been here a couple weeks. You'll be out in six more. Then you can spend all day every day for as long as you need or want with me while I sketch and tell me how to fix my designs." He gave her his large, friendly smile.

She relaxed a little. "Okay, show me the rest."

They poured over the rest of the designs for nearly an hour. And they laughed. Effie felt like it had been years since she laughed.

Cinna sat back and watched her. "Your laugh is different."

She stopped and looked at him. "How so?"

"It just is. I can't explain it."

She shrugged. "I'm starting to feel a little better in my skin, I think. It's a slow process. I still don't like to eat, but now I know a little about why."

He patted her hand.

"So how long can you stay?" She asked.

"As long as I can. Is there a limit?"

"I don't think there's a time limit. Not a strict one anyway."

"Then I'm here for the afternoon. Tell me more about this place. That counselor that set up the call. He seems gruff."

She nodded and closed his portfolio. "He is. Especially when you first meet him. But he softens up a little. It's mostly so you know where you stand. If you do what he expects, he's good. But if you screw up, he'll let you know about it."

"Like that chef guy on TV?" Cinna asked.

"Gordon Ramsey?"

"Yeah, him." He sighed dramatically. "I'd do him in a heartbeat. Let him yell about how fucking useless I am the whole time."

"You would not." Effie giggled.

"I would so." He laughed. Then he leaned closer. "What about this counselor of yours? Is he attractive?"

She blushed a little. "I'm not supposed to notice that sort of thing."

"So he is?"

"Shut up, Cinna." She pushed his arm and giggled. "Okay, yes, he's attractive. Blonde hair, kind of shaggy. Scruffy beard. These blue eyes I could drown in."

Her friend let out an appreciative sound.

"But, just because I find him attractive doesn't mean anything. He's my counselor. And he's really sympathetic. He knows just what to say or to ask to get me thinking about my issues."

"I'm proud of you." He said. He leaned in, "And incredibly jealous."

Effie giggled. "Well, he's my counselor. It's strictly against the rules. And he's not attracted to me anyway. He might even be married, for all I know."

Cinna chuckled. "Did you see a ring?"

"No ring. But some people don't wear them."

"True." He watched her a few minutes. "Can you show me around this place?"

"I don't know. They said the first couple visits had to be supervised."

Cinna looked over his shoulder. "She's texting." He whispered.

Effie shrugged. "She always is. But she notices everything." She looked between the attendant and her friend. "I'll ask." She got up and took a few tentative steps toward the desk. "Hi, could I…Would it be okay to show my friend around?"

Glimmer looked up from her phone and around the room. "I guess we can do that." She made a note and walked around from behind the counter.

Cinna gathered his things into his satchel and pulled the strap over his head. He followed as Effie told him about each of the rooms. She stopped outside the women's dormitory and asked if it was okay to show him where she slept. Normally, the only people of the opposite sex allowed down those halls were nurses or doctors or the counselors if the person refused to get out of bed or just couldn't.

"Since I'm here, I don't see a problem." Glimmer said. She punched in a code and the doors opened.

Effie led them inside and down to the farthest room. She poked her head inside a moment to see if her roommate was in, but she wasn't. She stepped inside. "This is it." She smiled nervously. "That's my side." She pointed to the right. "And that's Clove's side. She's off somewhere. I don't know. She doesn't like it in here. Her stay is court-ordered." Effie chewed her lip. "And that was the grand tour."

Cinna nodded and looked around. He dug in his bag and pulled something out. He asked Glimmer, "Can she have this?" He indicated one of his sketches.

Glimmer shrugged. "I don't see why not."

Cinna handed it over.

Effie looked at the green dress with all the flounces at the bottom. "Thank you."

"When you get done here, I want you to bring that one back to my studio with you and I'm making that one for you. And we're going to have a big party to celebrate."

She looked up from the sketch. "I'd be more comfortable with a small gathering, I think."

"Then a small gathering it will be." He looked at his watch. "I've been here for quite a while. I should probably go."

"I'll walk you to the front." Effie offered, giving Glimmer a questioning look.

She nodded.

Effie slipped her arm through Cinna's and started walking. "Can you come back next week?"

"I think so. I'll try. Do you need me to bring anything?"

"There are plenty of things I'd like you to bring, but I don't know if you can. Let me talk to some people and then I may have a list."

"Okay. Good." He hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too." She watched him step out and then turned to Glimmer. "Am I done being stalked?"

"Yep." Glimmer sauntered off and Effie was left alone. She looked around the common room and then made her way back to her room. She curled up on her bed, feeling empty and alone.


	4. Chapter 4

Haymitch stomped into the building and down the hall to Effie's room. She'd refused to leave and hadn't eaten at all since her friend left the day before. They told Haymitch she also refused to talk to anyone.

He pulled her up into a sitting position and looked in her face. "So now you just want to kill yourself?"

"Better than loneliness." She said forlornly.

He hauled her to her feet. "You'll shower and then eat and then we'll talk. You got it?"

She said nothing.

"Effie!" He snapped his fingers in front of her face.

"Yeah, sure." She sighed.

He escorted her to the showers and left her to herself. He went to the cafeteria and ordered a breakfast tray for his client. He brought it to her room and waited.

Effie came in with her hair dripping and a towel draped over her arm. She looked at the tray and then at her counselor. "I'm not eating that."

Haymitch glowered. "Part of your treatment is that you eat. If you refuse to comply with your treatment, you will be asked to leave. So eat. And talk."

She sat down and looked over the meal. "I was always told it was rude to speak with my mouth full."

He smiled. "In between bites. Tell me what's wrong."

She took a bite of the eggs on her plate. She made a face. "Rubbery." She sipped her water. "When my friend was here yesterday, it all came flooding back." She took another bite.

"What came flooding back?" He asked gently, leaning toward her.

"My feelings. Inadequate. Like I don't matter unless I can wear a pretty dress and make up my face and fix my hair." She shoveled the rest of the eggs into her mouth and sat back. "I can't make it out there."

"Do you have a support system outside that would help you?"

"I think Cinna would. But I don't know about anyone else."

"What about church?"

She snorted. "God never did much for me."

He nodded. "I understand that. And I understand that you feel like there is no one. But there are support systems. We can set you up with one. But you still have time here. So while you're here, we will continue to put _you_ back together and give you the tools to survive outside."

"You think I'll relapse?" She picked up a slice of toast and took a bite.

"I think there's a chance. If you don't end this right now and buck up and follow the rules. But if you _do_ want to fix this and succeed, I need you to keep doing what you're doing." He nodded toward the tray, now half gone. "And keep talking."

Effie nodded. "When I was with Cinna, he said something about a party. He wants to throw a big party for me when I'm done here. And when he said that, all I could think about was the last party I attended. I got wasted and passed out on the lawn of some stranger. And I got arrested. And I couldn't remember anything except that one of the other models in my circle…she asked if I'd gained weight. And I felt like shit. So I drank to get sick." She sighed. "And I'd do it again." She pushed her tray away and got up. She started pacing.

Haymitch watched her a while and then said, "Look, I know it's hard. I've been through it. I relapsed a few years ago. Big time. They happen. But it's not the end of the world. You will be okay, Effie."

She stopped walking and stared at him. "That thing you said before about getting away from the same old lifestyle?"

He shook his head. "My brother-in-law died. And my sister was depressed and kept talking about suicide and I was faced with the possibility raising two kids I didn't feel worthy of. So I went to the store and I got a six-pack. I drank it all in just a couple hours. The next day I got a case and stayed up all night drinking. I smuggled vodka into work in a water bottle. I became a functioning alcoholic once more."

"What changed?"

"My oldest niece found me passed out one afternoon. The look on her face broke my heart."

Effie sat down once more. "Cinna has such faith in me."

Haymitch smiled. "So don't let him down." He stood and pointed at her. "Eat every meal. Talk to me and in your group sessions. Find something to occupy your free time. Call your friend Cinna every day and talk for at least twenty minutes. These are my recommendations as your counselor and as someone who has had the same experiences. And don't you forget that." He turned on his heel and left the room.

As he left, she felt a weight lift off her chest, and then the emptiness came. She wanted so much, but she didn't know how to get it. Maybe that phone call to Cinna like Haymitch suggested.

She sat herself down at the phones. She dialed in Cinna's number and he picked up after three rings.

"Cinna?" She said in greeting.

"Effie? Hi. Is something wrong?" He asked, his voice full of concern.

"There was. But I'm better. I talked to my counselor." She paused. "I got down after you left yesterday. He said I should probably talk to you. You make me feel better about myself. You always have."

He chuckled. "That's good that you have such faith in me. So what should we talk about?"

"Tell me about your day?"

"I went to brunch with some friends. I just got back. Sat down to work on some more sketches."

"Oh, yeah? Anything interesting?"

"I have an idea about this big, extravagant gown with all these appliques and cut-outs and a ten foot train." He chuckled. "You'd look awesome in it."

"I would look awesome in it." She grinned. "I'll be in your next big show. And rock that dress."

"I'll work on that one and bring the sketches for you next Saturday." He said.

"You _will_ come again?"

"Of course I will. I told you before."

"I'm just a little…insecure, you know?"

He paused. "Yeah, I know. I met your dad, remember?"

"I remember." She sighed.

"He is such a dick." Cinna said. "But you're done with him. Completely. And you don't have to worry about him. Okay?"

"I'll always have you." Effie said softly. "You're much better than him."

"I am. Mostly because I'm hot and talented and make you pretty dresses."

She could almost hear his devastating smile in his voice. "And throw amazing parties."

"Which you don't want anymore."

She heaved a sigh. "I want the parties. It would just be smart not to have the parties."

"And why is that?"

"Because I need to remove myself from my former life as much as possible. No more big parties. No more alcohol or pills. Nutritious food. Normal eating schedule."

"Then you should move in here with me. You were living in that place with all those bitches. Half of them throwing up everything they ate, the other half starving themselves. You live with me and you won't have to worry about it. You know I don't like most of that stuff."

"Are you sure?"

"I am sure."

"Will you move my stuff?"

"I don't know what all is yours."

"Nothing important in there except my computer, if they haven't ruined it. And the rest of my clothes."

He paused. "Okay. I can do that. I'll go there this afternoon. And you can call me tomorrow. Same time."

"Thank you so much." She squealed. "I feel much better now. I love you."

"I love you, too. Talk to you tomorrow."

They bid their farewells and Effie hung up the phone. She heaved a sigh and smiled to herself. Maybe she could make it after all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while, I've been working on a new Everlark story called Just Friends (if you haven't read it yet, you should) and a couple drabbles you can find over on Tumblr (booksrockmyface) and on here.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, commenting, and kudos! I hope you like this chapter! There are some great gems here.
> 
> Happy reading!

"Look, you know I don't care." Haymitch said.

"But I wanted to make sure." Katniss said. "One more time before I file the papers."

"Your mom wants you to be the one with custody. And I do too. You can stay in your house and not disturb any of Prim's routine. If I take custody, she may have to move. Not to mention that I may be rejected with my past being what it is."

"But you're a counselor, no matter that you were an alcoholic."

He sighed. "Stop trying to talk yourself out of it. You and I have talked about this before. It makes the most sense. Call me if you need a letter or something."

"I will."

Haymitch hung up and walked in the building to start the last half of his day. He and Effie had made a lot of progress and he could see her spirits had lightened. She looked healthier and acted healthier. But she spoke often of her fear that it would all go back to how it was before once she was out. These were her last weeks. Her phone calls with Cinna had become almost daily visits. And as Haymitch walked through the common room on his way to his office, he saw Effie and Cinna sitting together on the couch, holding onto each other and laughing.

He almost kept walking, but Effie called, "Haymitch, you've never officially met Cinna."

He turned and walked back to them. He held out his hand. "Haymitch Abernathy."

The other man stood and shook his hand warmly. "I'm Cinna." His voice was kind and still held a hint of amusement.

"Well, it's nice to meet you. Effie, make sure you aren't late for group." He walked away. It warmed his heart that she was happy now. He remembered that hallow shell she was when she first came in.

She came hurrying after him. "Hey, that was kind of rude."

"I have things to do, I can't stand around and talk all afternoon." He unlocked his office.

She followed him in. "Are you mad about something?"

"I told you, I have stuff to do. You have a group session in twenty minutes. Wrap up your visit." His voice was gruff.

She nodded and turned to leave. She swirled back around. "I just..." She grabbed his face and planted a kiss to his lips. She stepped back and turned a deep red. "I'm sorry." She hurried out of the room, pulling the door closed behind her.

Haymitch stood in shock for several seconds before he was able to move. Of all the things he expected Effie to say or do, that was the last one he ever imagined.

He gathered up a file and relocked his office door. He walked to the room where they conducted the group sessions and started setting up. The first clients started coming in alone or in pairs. Effie was one of the last. She avoided eye contact and took a seat farthest from where he sat and at an angle that she could sit and not look at him.

He started the session and asked if anyone had anything they wanted to say. A few took turns talking. He tried to get Effie to say a few things, but she was noncommittal. She spoke just enough for the group to know nothing was amiss, but Haymitch knew.

He sent everyone away after they all recited the serenity prayer. He noticed Effie hung back. He finished putting things away and then met her in the middle of the room.

"About what happened in your office..." She began.

He shook his head. "We have to forget about it. It was highly inappropriate and I could get fired. Don't ever do anything like that again."

"Are you going to report it?"

"Not as long as it was an isolated incident."

She kept a steady hold of his gaze. "I guess it's going to have to be." She turned on her heel and sauntered out of the room.

Haymitch noticed the sway of her hips and wondered if it was exaggerated or if Effie always walked that way and he just never noticed.

* * *

She was discharged a few days later. She sat in Haymitch's office as he reminded her of all her responsibilities and expectations.

"Once a week with me for another six weeks and attend either AA or NA once a week." He said. "I think twice a week for the first month, but that one is up to you." He held out his hand and enumerated with each finger. "No drinking, no drugs, eat regularly, healthy meals, and exercise responsibly. That is not a suggestion. If you don't do those, you will relapse. And as much as I like your company, I prefer you healthy."

She smiled and looked down. She tucked some hair behind her ear and looked up at him under her eyelashes. "Well, we still have once a week for the next few weeks."

"Yep." He wrote a note and snapped the folder in front of him closed. "Good luck, Effie. It's going to be tough out there, but I know you can make it."

She shook herself and stood. "Thanks, Haymitch." She held out her hand.

He shook it and motioned her to precede him out the door. She walked out. She gathered her things from her room and walked to the front, all with Haymitch following on her heels.

Effie ran to Cinna and threw her arms around his neck. "I'm free!" She exclaimed.

Cinna laughed and held her close. "I'm so glad." He kissed her cheek. He held out his hand to Haymitch. "Thank you so much for all you've done to help Effie."

"Just doing my job." Haymitch said as he shook the other man's hand. "We still have a lot to go, so encourage and lift her up often, especially in these next few weeks."

"Oh, I will." He said. He held out a card. "I'm having a gathering at my place. You're welcome to join us."

"I'm not supposed to. Conflict of interest and all that." Haymitch smiled and took the card anyway. "But thanks. I'll see you on Tuesday, Effie."

"Tuesday." She smiled. She watched him over her shoulder for a few moments as they walked out the door. She winked and turned away.

"What's that about?" Cinna asked.

"Nothing." Effie said quickly. She didn't say anything else until they were in the car. She smiled and said, "I kissed him the other day."

He looked over. "You better be glad I wasn't driving. Details, woman!"

"That day you were here when he met you officially? When I got up to follow him, he stepped into his office. I followed. And I just planted a kiss on his lips. Then I ran away. We've kind of been avoiding each other except for when necessary."

"But he's so handsome."

"He's also my counselor." She smiled. "But I've been flirting mercilessly the last couple days."

Cinna laughed heartily. "Good to know."

"And he's been kind of ignorant." Effie sighed. "I guess we'll see if he makes it to the party."

"Yeah, I guess we'll see." He smiled. "I invited a lot of people, but not _all_ the people. I told them you wanted something low-key and they all promised they'd keep it that way. We're cutting out the alcohol, a few people grumbled, but they'll comply or they'll be kicked out. I didn't invite any models. I figured that was the main part of your problem."

She nodded and chewed her lip. "Thank you."

"So what are you going to do? Now that you're out? Do you still want to model?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

"I could use a stitcher. You could do that. You've always been good with the repairs."

She shrugged again. "I guess. I have nothing better to do. And I need something to occupy my time. But I need to find a job."

"I can pay you."

"Cinna—"

"It wouldn't be charity. I need a stitcher I can rely on. And you're in my house, so I know where to get you if you don't show."

She chuckled. "Okay. I guess. Thanks."

"Plus, you know me well enough to call me on my bullshit instead of just taking it or quitting because of it."

She laughed. "I love you so much."

He reached over and squeezed her knee. "Love you, too."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken so long to update this. I got distracted by an Everlark story called Just Friends. You should check it out. But I promise not to get distracted again. I don't know how many more chapters there are, but you'll be blessed with many more after this. And it's all pretty fluffy. A little angsty at times, but mostly fluff.
> 
> Happy reading!

Haymitch kissed Iris's temple. "I'll come back tomorrow."

She nodded mutely and continued to stare out the window.

He sighed and shook his head and left. It was days like this, where she just sat there doing nothing, that he wondered if it was worth it to try to save her. He nearly bumped into Katniss as he walked out the front door. "Oh, hey." He said.

"Hi." She smiled. "What's new?"

He shrugged. "Not much."

"She still staring?"

He nodded.

Katniss sighed. "I went out to get her new meds. The doctor said it should help, but..."

Haymitch clapped her on the shoulder. "You're doing a good job, Katniss."

"I used to think so." She looked around the yard of her childhood home. "It's not fair, Haymitch. You recovered. People recover from ailments all the time. Why can't she?"

"Depression is a hard one. When you're an alcoholic or addicted to pills or a behavior, you take away the thing making you ill. You can't take out your heart or your mind, kid. Doctors try to treat it the best they can. Some people can beat it. Some can't."

"What if she really does it one of these days? Just succeeds with her threats? Doesn't even threaten? What are we going to do?"

"You have custody of Prim. The two of you would get help and grieve. But you would have to keep living your life."

"She would never do it to us, right?" Her voice was small. So unlike the take-charge person he was used to.

"It wouldn't be about you or Prim or me or even your dad. This is about your mom not feeling like she belongs here because her mind is telling her so. And I don't know how many more times we can save her before she finally decides she isn't worth saving."

Katniss nodded. "So you think I should prepare myself for the worst?"

Haymitch shrugged. "I think you should just spend as much time with her as you can and try to prove life is worth living."

She nodded and gave him an awkward hug. Neither was very affectionate, but they loved each other and had agreed it was important to show it. They made their farewells and Haymitch went home. He'd been invited to that party for Effie. It was probably a bad idea to go, but he wanted to see her outside of those walls.

And he just plain wanted to see her. She was sweet. And she was pretty. And he wanted to know more about the skittish person that peeked out every so often to show her true self. She was someone he would have spent time with in his party days.

He made supper (frozen TV dinner, as usual) and sat in front of his flat screen. Top-of-the-line. It had been his reward to himself for making it a full five years sober after his last relapse. He'd worked hard for that. Deciding not to move away had been tough. It's the reason he was so easily pulled back when tragedy hit. Caleb had been a good man and the main force to clean himself up in the first place. He supposed Katniss being so much like her father had helped clean him up the second time and decide to stay that way.

There was nothing that caught his attention. He finished eating and got himself ready for the party. He wouldn't stay long, he promised himself again.

It took him a little to find the place. It was in the more upscale part of town. He had never been there on purpose. He took a wrong turn once and it was even more frightening than the bad part of town. Too much money spent on useless things. Where was the world going?

He finally found it and parked on the street behind a fancy red car that was probably bought outright and cost more than his house. All the rest looked just as costly and he felt so out of place.

Effie opened the door and smiled hugely. "Hi! Come in!" She stepped aside and motioned him in. She handed him a cup of punch and introduced him around. "And this is Cinna. You remember Cinna?"

"I do." Haymitch shook his hand. "Nice digs you got here."

"Thanks." Cinna smiled. "It's my favorite place to be. I even have my studio here. Effie, why don't you show him?"

"You don't mind?" Effie asked.

"You work there, too. And show him your room." Cinna winked and walked away.

Effie blushed slightly and looked at him uncertainly. "Would you like a tour?"

"Sure." He followed her into the back of the massive house. She opened a door to reveal a big room with a large selection of fabrics on one end. A mannequin stood in the corner beside a tall table scattered with drawings. A smaller table was on the opposite end of the room with a much more organized grouping of sketches. Along the wall beside it was a set of dresses.

"This one's mine." Effie said, walking to the organized desk. "Cinna does the sketches and then I go over them and make suggestions if they need a little tweaking. We just started this afternoon, so I don't know how successful we'll be."

"You'll do great, Effie."

She smiled. "Thanks."

"I can't stay. It's not right." He looked around the room. "Good luck with this."

"Thank you." She watched him a moment. Then she grabbed his face and kissed him. This was longer and not as rushed as their first kiss had been. His arms came around her as he kissed her back. He knew he shouldn't. It was a bad idea.

He broke it and stepped away. "Sorry. I really do have to go."

"Would you like to meet for a cup of coffee? Saturday? About eleven?"

He watched her hopeful expression for a moment and then nodded. "Sure."

She lit up. "There's this cute little place on fifth. Perk Up." She shook her head. "As far as coffee puns go, that one's not the best. But I love it. The coffee's great."

"Good. I'll meet you there." He hurried out before he did anything stupid like kiss her again.

* * *

On Saturday, Haymitch easily found the café Effie had mentioned. He ordered a black coffee and sat down on one of the outdoor tables. It was pretty out, maybe a bit nippy, but it would quickly warm up like most spring days.

Effie waved enthusiastically when she saw him. "You came!"

"I did." He smiled almost grudgingly. What was it about this woman that made him act so out of the ordinary? He wasn't a smiler on his best days, but she seemed to bring it out of him.

"I'll get my coffee and come right back out." She hurried inside.

Haymitch watched her through the window as she chatted happily with the barista. She laughed and the sound carried out to him. She seemed happy, far happier than she had while she was within the walls of the treatment facility. Had Cinna done this to her?

She walked out, her bright green dress catching the sun. It hugged her in all the right places and he admired the sway of her hips as she walked the few steps to the table he'd chosen.

"So how are you today?" He asked, bringing himself out of his thoughts.

"Oh, just great." She gushed. "Ever since I've been out, Cinna and I have had such great talks and I feel so much better about myself. I've gained another pound."

"That's great!"

Her smile brightened slightly at the praise. "And Cinna has signed me up for his gym so I'm going to maintain weight a healthy way. I'm seeing a nutritionist and getting myself on a good diet. I've got cookbooks full of recipes I want to try. I'm so ready to just grab life by the horns and run with it."

He smiled again. She was just so happy. He hoped she could keep it up. "I'm happy for you, Effie."

"I'm happy for me too."

They sipped their drinks and watched people walk by for a while.

Eventually Haymitch said, "About the other night…"

"The kiss?" Effie's face dropped.

"Yes. It can't happen again. I'm your counselor."

She slid her hand across the table and draped her fingers over his. "Can I request a new one?"

He watched her hand a moment and then turned his over. He swallowed. "That still won't make it okay. You're still associated with the facility where I work. It's against policy. And it is advised that you don't see anyone new in a romantic or sexual capacity while still recovering."

She nodded and tried to pull her hand away, but he held fast.

"But I haven't made a bad decision in a while." He gave her a wicked smile.

"You've finished your coffee." She pointed.

He looked over. "You still have some."

She smiled and drank the last of it. She stood and led him away. He wasn't sure where they were going, but at the moment he felt like he'd follow Effie pretty much anywhere. Within reason, of course. He wasn't entirely stupid.

She stopped at a black SUV that looked brand new. "Cinna let me borrow this." She dug around in her purse until she found the key and pressed the button to unlock it. She looked around and then hopped into the back seat and pulled him inside.

He smiled nervously and leaned over her. It had been so long since he was with a woman. No one held his attention anymore now that he was free of the alcohol. He never found anyone interesting enough when he was sober. So he'd lost himself in work and taking care of the girls and Iris.

But here was Effie. Soft and bubbly and full of life. She tasted like sugar and chocolate, no doubt from her coffee. She smelled like paper and colored pencils and some sort of spicy perfume. It was driving him mad. He hummed against her skin as he moved his lips over her jaw and down her neck.

She took in a sharp breath and clutched at him as his lips met the juncture between her neck and shoulder. He paid it more attention and she began to writhe and moan beneath him. She sighed his name as he finally made the return journey. Their mouths met again and Effie started pushing at his shirt.

That brought Haymitch back to reality like a bucket of ice water thrown over him. He sat back and pulled down his shirt. "Request a new counselor. Maybe tell them you'd just feel more comfortable with a woman instead of a man." He patted her leg awkwardly and got out of the car.

He sat in his own and rested his head on the steering wheel. "Stupid." He mumbled to himself. _But she sure is hot._


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some great stuff in this chapter. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Happy reading!

Haymitch was at his computer when Effie knocked on his open door.

He looked up. His face showed a disgruntled frown. "What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you, too." She shut the door and propped herself on the edge of the chair. "I was told I had to come to a session with you for an evaluation before I could transfer."

"Oh." He looked at his computer a moment and his frown deepened. "Okay, I have an email. Says I'm supposed to do what you said and make a suggestion for someone you'd be comfortable with." He took off his reading glasses and looked at her. "What did you tell Coin?"

"I said I liked you and knew you were a competent counselor, but that my addiction is pills and I'm battling an eating disorder and since you've told me your issues were with alcohol, I didn't feel you'd suit my needs. I know there are other counselors here who have struggled with the same issues or have specialized in those fields. So I requested to be moved to one of those. I didn't mention the need for a female counselor like you suggested. I figured that would seem fishy."

A shadow of a smile played at his mouth. "You are definitely smarter than some people are giving you credit for."

She beamed. "A lot of people see blonde hair and just get the wrong impression. I was top of my class in high school and I wanted to go to college for fashion design. But I broke into the modeling to make some extra money to pay for it. I spent so much of that money on the pills, though..." She shrugged. "I guess I'm not that smart."

"When we find something that holds our attention, good or bad, we sometimes make a bad choice about how to continue pursuing that addiction. And when we have a bad addiction, sometimes people advocate finding a 'good' addiction." He made quotes around the word with his fingers. He got up and started moving around the room. "People with addictions to drugs and alcohol sometimes have a personality that makes them prone to addiction in other areas."

She nodded. "I know. So you think my next step is to find a healthy addiction?"

"Do you have one?"

She almost said, "You." But she smiled and shook her head. "No. But I see what you mean. I'm starting to learn to cook and I'm not bad at it. And working with Cinna has been good for me, too. He sets a timer for himself for work. And every half hour we get up and move around. We eat all our meals at the same time every day, even when we aren't working." She stared at him. "And it's really hard talking about this like it's nothing when you're over there looking so handsome and I just want to kiss you until you can't breathe."

He smiled at that and shook his head. "You're on a good track, Effie. I remember when you first came in here and you were unsure how to express yourself. Now you have a job, still in the fashion industry, but with more of an impact on the final result. You're eating healthy and making a lot of progress. I'm proud of you. But I see why you want someone different." He sat back down behind his desk and started typing. "You're really cute when you try to flirt, by the way."

" _Try_ to flirt?" She grinned. "I thought I was doing a good job of it."

He chuckled and read back over what he'd written. He clicked a few buttons. "Someone will call you tomorrow with your new counselor's name to set up an appointment."

"Are we done here?" She leaned forward and he couldn't help but notice the bit of cleavage revealed by her V-neck sweater.

He cleared his throat. "Yeah. We're done."

"So do you want to have dinner?"

He smiled. "We can't be seen alone together in public."

"Then I'll make you dinner. Tomorrow night? Cinna has a date. I'll have the house to myself. And I haven't been alone in a long time with great results."

"Okay. Do you have my cell number?"

"I think do." She took her phone. "But let me double-check." She was just opened the contacts list when the door opened and a woman poked her head in. "We got a situation and I need you."

"On my way. Effie, please show yourself out." He helped her up and led her out the door. "I'll call you." He said softly before he followed the commotion to the commons area.

She made her way outside and hurried to the house for her cookbook to find the perfect meal. She was just looking through the fourth book without the slightest clue about what she thought she should make when her phone rang. "Hello?"

"It's Haymitch." He said gruffly.

"Oh, hi!" She closed the book. "Did you take care of that fight?"

"Yeah. And I got a shot to the jaw for my trouble."

"I'm so sorry to hear that. Are you okay?"

"Fine." His voice softened a little. "Got ice on it."

"Well, good. So what do you like to eat? I have so many things that sound delicious, but I don't know what you like."

"I'm a meat and potatoes man. Nothing too fancy. But I'll try anything once."

"I have a recipe for a beef stew." She picked up a book and started going through it. "And some rolls. Does that sound all right?"

"It sounds just fine."

She felt her heart leap in her chest. "It'll be the best. I promise."

He chuckled. "I look forward to it. What time do you want me there?"

"Cinna's date is at seven, so he'll head out about then. I don't think he'd mind you coming by earlier, though."

"Six forty-five?"

She smiled. "Yes. It would be fine."

"Then I'll be there."

* * *

"If you need any, I have condoms in my bedside drawer." Cinna said as he leaned over the bubbling pot. "That smells amazing."

"Thanks. For both."

"Do you think he's gonna wanna…" He made a circle with one hand and poked a finger repeatedly into it from the other hand.

She slapped his hands down. "I don't know."

" _You_ haven't in a while. You could use a good lay."

She turned slightly pink. "I think Haymitch could too. He's so stern and stiff."

"Stiff? Then maybe he'll show you a stiff."

She shoved his shoulder just before the doorbell rang. "Please behave." She begged him as she walked toward the door.

"Don't worry. I've got to head out to pick up my date." He sat down and slipped on his shoes.

Effie opened the door and was greeted by Haymitch.

He awkwardly held out some flowers. "My niece Prim said I should get you flowers."

She laughed and took them. "They're beautiful. Thank you." She put her nose in them. "They smell amazing."

He followed her into the kitchen. " _That_ smells amazing." He pointed to the pot.

"This is ready, just have to wait for the rolls to be done."

Cinna called, "Have a good night. Don't wait up."

"Have fun." Effie called back. "Be safe." She sat the flowers in the middle of the island.

"I will." He closed the door and they were left in silence.

Effie got out bowls and started filling them. She sat them each on the little table in the breakfast nook. "Do you mind eating in here? The dining room is too stuffy for my tastes."

"Don't mind at all. Can I do something?"

She pointed to a cabinet. "Glasses are there. Will you fill them with ice from the fridge door?"

"Are we drinking water?"

"There's iced tea and some juice if you'd rather have that."

"No, water is perfectly fine."

They sat together and ate in silence for a long time. Haymitch complimented the food. She thanked him. And that was about it until they were done eating.

Effie put the dishes in the sink and leaned against the counter. "I'm not good with dates."

"And I'm not good with small talk." He leaned beside her. "So what would you like to do?"

She smiled and kissed him. She looked at him uncertainly a moment. When he didn't protest she kissed him again. She took his hand and led him into the living room. They sat down on the couch together. Effie gently grabbed Haymitch's face and kissed him slowly. She reclined on the couch, pulling him on top of her.

He stopped and looked down at her. "Effie?"

"What?"

"Are you sure about this?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." She pulled him back down for another deep kiss.

Haymitch moved his mouth across Effie's jaw and down her neck.

She moaned. "Want to go to my room?"

"I do." He got up and followed her to the other side of the house.

She pulled down the blanket and sat down to remove her shoes. He kicked his off at the door and sat beside her.

"Can I make a confession?" He asked as she started kissing his neck.

"Hm?"

"I've left behind a string of one night stands and failed first dates. And only a handful of those were in my sober years."

She lifted her head and looked at him. "So am I just one more notch in your bedpost?"

"That depends."

"On what?"

"On what you want to do. We have to keep this a secret until you're released from the program. Are you okay with that?"

She smiled. "I think so. We'll see how tonight goes. And if it's awful, which I highly doubt, we can stop all this nonsense and only ever see each other in passing." She kissed him once more and stood. "I'll be right back." She went into Cinna's room and found the condoms. She picked up one and then decided she had better be well-prepared and grabbed a handful. She returned to the bedroom and dropped them on the nightstand.

Haymitch chuckled. "I think you're overestimating me."

Effie smiled and shimmied out of her pants. "Maybe." She slid into the bed and beckoned him with her finger.

He dropped his own pants and climbed in beside her. He gathered her into his arms and kissed her deeply.

"My confession time." She said softly when he pulled away. "I've had a bunch of one night stands, too. And mostly only with men who told me I was beautiful. You've never said it to me. So this'll be a first."

"You're more than beautiful, Effie. You're smart and you're talented and you're a fighter. And even with all of that, you manage to find all the positive things."

She smiled and pulled him on top of her. "No more talking."

Their clothes were quickly discarded. Bodies were explored with lips and tongues and hands. The condom applied. And then they moved together. Effie's enthusiasm was just as present in this bed as she had been all other times. Her voice rose higher and higher with each stroke and Haymitch could barely hold back his smile. She was adorable. And sweet. And she felt so good. And it really had been too long.

Both of them came rather quickly within a few seconds of each other. Haymitch rolled away and looked up at the ceiling as he tried to regain his breathing.

"Why are you so quiet?" She asked after a while.

He looked over. "I never know what to say."

"So tell me about your nieces." She moved closer and placed her hand on his chest.

"After all that you want to hear about my family?" He smirked.

She shrugged. "What else do you want to talk about? It was good for me. Was it good for you?"

He chuckled. "It was really nice." He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her onto his chest. "My family, huh?"

"Yeah. You have nieces? And a sister?"

"Iris, my sister, has severe depression." He started playing with her hair. "She's suicidal."

"I'm sorry to hear that." She trailed her fingers over his chest. "Is she okay now?"

"For now. I was the guardian for the girls, but Katniss turned eighteen a few months ago and she got her mom to sign over custody of Prim."

"How old is Prim?"

"Fourteen. Smart as a whip. She wants to be a doctor. Katniss works at the butcher counter at the grocery store. She's decided to put off college for a while. She may never go."

"Do you want her to go?"

"I want her to do what makes her happy. And college isn't for everyone." He kissed Effie's forehead.

She sat up. "Oh! I made dessert. You want some?"

He followed and stretched. "Yeah, sure. What did you make?"

"Cherry cheesecake." She found her clothes on the floor and started dressing.

"Sounds good." He started looking for his clothes.

She stopped him. "I'll bring you a slice. You want coffee?"

"Yes, please." He pulled on his underwear and got back into the bed. "You sure you don't want help?"

"I'm sure. You stay put." She returned a short time later with a tray holding two cups of coffee and two plates with slices of the cheesecake.

Once they were both settled, Haymitch asked, "So tell me about your family. You always evade the question."

"Not much to tell. My mother and father both died when I was young. I was raised by an elderly aunt until I was thirteen and then I was put in the system because she died. I aged out and went to modeling." She took a sip of her coffee. "I had an older sister, but she died too."

"Tragedy all around."

"Yep."

He chewed thoughtfully and then said, "I think it should end with us."

"I do too." She sat her plate off to the side, only a few bites gone. She finished drinking her coffee.

Haymitch finished his cheesecake and coffee and took Effie's empty cup from her hand. "What do you say we go another round?"

"I say, 'What are you waiting for?'" She rolled over on top of him with a giggle. "Let's have fun."

"I like fun."

They shared a laugh just before they shared a kiss.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is becoming smuttier than I was planning on and I'm not complaining. I hope you aren't either. lol. Things are moving along pretty quickly, so I think this will only have a few more chapters. But I hope you enjoy the ride. ;)
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at booksrockmyface if you want to talk or flail or to get little mini previews of this or my other stuff.
> 
> Happy reading!

Haymitch sat in front of Iris. He had a cup of tea in his hand, quickly growing cold. She'd actually made it for him, but that was it. She sat and stared at him. Not speaking except to answer his questions in as few syllables as possible.

"So, do you need anything?" He asked, not for the first time.

"Mm, no." She stood and shuffled to the thermostat and pushed a few buttons. "It's so cold."

"You should put on a sweater."

She shrugged and sat back down on the couch. "Why can't you just let me go?" She finally asked in despair.

"Because you're more important than that, Iris. Don't you know? Don't you care?"

"Caleb left. He didn't care."

"Caleb was killed in a very unfortunate work accident. He didn't do it on purpose. And you're trying to. Don't you see the difference?"

"You and Katniss can take care of Prim. I'm useless here, Haymitch. Just another mouth to feed. Why won't any of you just let me go?"

"If you really wanted to off yourself, Sister, you'd've done it already. There's some part of you that wants to live. So, please, stop threatening. Follow your program. Get in there and cook supper for your girls. Go work in your garden. Take your medication and don't stay in bed all day. You don't have to do a lot, but you do have to do _something_. You're fine. Your girls are fine. And Caleb wouldn't want this for you."

The corner of her mouth twitched up. "You haven't called me 'Sister' since we were kids."

He smiled. "Remember when we used to run around playing like we were cowboys?"

"You always made me be the damsel in distress. Just once I wanted to be the bad guy." She looked down at her hands. "I guess I got what I wanted."

He moved beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You got out of bed today. We're having an actual conversation. You're not a bad guy, Iris. You're recovering. You may never be cured, but you can at least learn to overcome some of the struggles."

She wrapped her arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder. "I've been such a horrible person."

"No, you haven't. You're sick. You aren't responsible for any of this. Do you understand me?"

She sat up and looked at him. "I want to get better for them."

"Good. You do that." He looked up at the clock. "Katniss and Prim should both be home soon, right?"

She nodded.

"I'll order some pizza." He smiled. "Extra mushrooms and anchovies on yours?"

She smiled. "Make sure to have extra bell peppers on yours."

He kissed her temple. "Just pepperoni and sausage all around."

"Prim likes veggie now."

He rubbed her back. "She does. See? You're here now. With them. You're paying attention."

"I'll get better."

"You already are." He pulled his phone out of his pocket. He was just dialing the number for the pizza place when Effie's number popped up. He answered it and hurried into the other room. "Hey."

"Hey, handsome. What are you doing tonight? The answer better be me."

He laughed. "Maybe after while. I'm eating with my family."

"Oh." Her voice dropped. "But we can get together later?"

Haymitch looked into the living room where Iris was now reclined on the couch. "Want some pizza? Meet my family?"

"Are we there yet? We've only been sleeping together for a short time."

"Maybe I want to pretend you like me for more than my body."

"Well, I do. You were the one who said we had to keep this a secret."

"So you want to come over?"

"I better not."

"Meet me at my place tonight, at least? I always feel uncomfortable when Cinna's around."

"But your bed is lumpy." She pouted. He could picture her with her lip poked out adorably.

"That just means you get to be on top."

Someone cleared their throat and Haymitch swung around to see Prim standing in the doorway.

"Haymitch?" Effie asked. "You still there?"

"Uh, yeah." He cleared his throat, embarrassment flooding him. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah, later."

Haymitch hung up and went back to dialing the pizza place. "Veggie lover's pizza, a pepperoni and sausage, and some cheese sticks? Sound good to you for supper?"

Prim laughed and shook her head in disbelief. "You're a riot."

"The pizza, Prim."

"Yeah, veggie. Thanks." She walked away, laughing.

He cursed under his breath and made the order. Katniss came in a short time later and went straight to the bathroom with a backward wave to the bunch. The shower started a moment later.

"Pizza will be here in a half hour." He smiled at Prim. "How was practice today?"

"Tiring. We just ran drills the whole time."

Iris shook her head. "I don't know how to work this one, sweetheart." She passed the book back to Prim. "Maybe Katniss knows. She's better at math. Like your father was."

Prim rested her head on her shoulder. "It's fine, Mom." She closed her book. "I'll just do it later." She wrapped her arms around her mother's waist. "Mama, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Primrose." Iris said as she returned her daughter's embrace. "I love you. Don't ever forget."

"I won't."

Haymitch turned on the TV and started surfing through the channels. He settled on a reality show just as Katniss emerged from the bathroom braiding her wet hair.

"Did I hear you say pizza?" She asked.

"Yep." He put down the remote.

"Guess what I heard?" Prim said as Katniss settled on the last chair.

"What's that?" Her sister asked.

"Haymitch was talking dirty with his girlfriend in the kitchen."

Haymitch turned and glared. "I was not."

"You told someone they could be on top. Of what?" She gave him a wicked grin.

Katniss laughed. "This your model girlfriend?"

"She's not currently a model." He said.

"But she _was_ a model at some point."

"She's not really my girlfriend, either."

Iris asked, "So you're sleeping with a former model?"

"How did you even meet her?" Katniss asked. "You're at work, home, and here. Did your eyes meet over the potatoes at the grocery store?"

He chuckled uncomfortably. "I'm not supposed to be seeing her. She was a patient at the center."

There was a shocked silence in the room. Iris started laughing. It was a soft series of giggles at first and then turned into a deep belly laugh. It became infectious and the girls quickly joined her. Even Haymitch started laughing at the sound of his sister's sudden joy.

Iris finally gasped out, "You have a forbidden girlfriend. A regular Romeo."

He shook his head. "She's not my girlfriend."

The doorbell rang. Katniss answered it and ushered the pizza delivery girl in. Haymitch got up and handed her the payment and sent her on her way.

"No more teasing, please." He finally said.

Katniss said, "Maybe for today at least."

He shook his head and sat down to eat his slices.

* * *

Effie walked past Haymitch after he opened the door and straight toward his bedroom. She shed her shoes and shirt as she went. She looked over her shoulder to make sure he was following and then dropped her skirt just outside his bedroom door. She hopped on the bed and crawled across it, giving him a great view of her backside just barely covered in white panties.

He removed his shirt outside the door. He walked in and shed his pants. He stepped behind her and rubbed a hand over her bottom. "I have a lovely idea."

She looked over her shoulder. "I think I like your idea." She sat up and wrapped her hands around his head. She rubbed against him. "You're ready already."

"You bet your sweet ass I am." He slid her panties down and nipped at her shoulder. "Lean forward."

She turned her head and kissed him softly before she leaned forward on her hands once more. She watched him over her shoulder as he prepared himself. He took hold of her thighs and pulled them apart. Her head fell forward as he guided himself in.

"Oh, yeah." She sighed.

He moaned deeply. "You always feel so good."

"Tell me how good." She pushed back.

He chuckled and started moving. "You know I don't do that. You do the talking."

"You like when I talk." She purred as she moved with him.

"Hmmmmm."

"That's nice." She moaned. "That's so nice. You should go faster."

He grunted and complied.

"Yeah, that's it." She gasped. "Already? Damn it!" She cried out over and over as she came.

He continued to pound into her. He dug his fingers into her hips as he plunged in harder. He grunted and moaned.

"You gonna come or what?" She finally asked sweetly.

That sent him over the edge and he let out a primal yell as he met his climax. He held her still a moment and then let her go.

With a heavy sigh, Effie fell forward on the bed. She pulled herself up to the top of the bed and wrapped her arms around the pillow as she pressed her face into it. Haymitch joined her on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

She turned her head and asked, "Were you serious about be meeting your family earlier or were you just testing the waters?"

He shrugged. "Don't know. It just came out. I was trying to be nice."

"So you don't want me to meet your family?"

He was silent for a moment. He looked over. "We're not dating."

"Right. We're just fuck buddies, right? Because it's against the rules for us to date. And it's highly recommended that a person getting treatment doesn't engage in any new relationship while still in the early stages of recovery. But here I am recovering and sleeping with you and making you dinner and we're not supposed to do any of it. So the question comes down to what's more important, getting laid or risking your job?"

"What do you want to know, Effie?"

"I want to know if you'll go out with me. On a real date. To a restaurant or a bar or the zoo. Do something besides meet up to screw for a few hours a night. Something where neither of us has to slink away in shame before the sun comes up."

He watched her a moment and then nodded. "Okay. What would you like to do?"

"Dinner and a movie. You pick me up at my place and take me out on the town and you drop me off before midnight and you come home."

"Alone?"

"Yes." She moved closer to him. "Then I'll sneak back over and spend the night."

"Sure."

"Sure what?"

"I want it. Let's do it. Friday."

"Okay. Friday."

He smoothed her hair away from her face. "But you can stay all of tonight. You don't have to slink away in shame."

"I don't have any clothes here besides the ones I wore."

"I don't care. And you don't have to start work until ten. I go in at nine. You have plenty of time to go home and shower. And have a gab session with Cinna before you start."

She sat up and took off her bra and threw it off the side of the bed. "You know you're sweeter than most people give you credit for." She draped herself over his chest. "All that gruff attitude you give everyone is to keep them away, isn't it? Because if you show everyone how kind you are, everyone will come out of the woodwork begging you for help."

"Maybe."

"You're a good help anyway." She kissed his shoulder. "You're so hot." She trailed kisses down his chest. She paused and trailed her fingers over a scar on his side. "Why won't you tell me how you got this?"

"It's nothing." He smoothed his hand over her hair. "A silly accident."

The way he said "accident" made her think he wasn't being truthful. She let it go and continued to move her mouth lower. She took his cock in her hand and quickly stroked it back to life. She licked him base to tip. She took the tip in her mouth and swirled her tongue around it as she stroked the length.

She kept her eyes on his as she lowered her head. She maintained eye contact as she worked her mouth over him. He smoothed his hands over her hair. She smiled and bit her lip as she stroked him with her hand.

"You like that?"

He smiled. "Do you ever stop talking?"

"Do you want me to?"

He shook his head.

"Tell me wat you want."

"That." He gasped. "It's working."

She lowered her mouth on him once more, taking him deeper.

"Effie, that's—ah, it's nice. But work higher."

She removed her mouth and licked her lips before she returned her attention to his cock. She slowly ran her tongue around the tip, keeping her eyes locked with his.

"Yeah." He sighed and dropped his head back on the pillow. He gasped again and thrust up.

She quickly moved away and watched twitching of his body as he came. He let out a string of curses and then relaxed on the bed.

"You are good." He sighed.

"So are you." She ran her hand up his torso, smearing the mess further.

He laughed. "Now tell me what you want."

Effie bit her lip and shrugged. "I don't know."

Haymitch grabbed her hand and tugged. "Tell me."

She watched him a moment. Then she moved forward. "Stay right where you are."

He smiled as she moved to sit on his upper chest. "I like your way of thinking." He grabbed her hips and pulled her forward.

She grabbed onto the headboard as his tongue made contact with her clit. She let out a soft sigh. "That's wonderful." She rotated her hips and grabbed a fistful of his hair. She looked into his eyes as his tongue and lips brought her closer and closer to the brink. As she stepped over the line, she fell forward. She gasped over and over. She fell over with her feet stuck underneath her.

"You good?" Haymitch asked.

Effie giggled. "Yes. Very." She somehow made her way back to the top of the bed. "Thank you." She reached up and wiped at his chin. "Sorry about that part of it."

He chuckled. "I should probably get myself cleaned up. You've made a mess of me."

"I have. We should take a shower."

"A shower would be nice." He got up and headed for the door. He looked over his shoulder. "Coming?"

"I sure hope so." She got up and dashed out of the room ahead of him. A laugh drifted back to him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started another Art and Other Distractions prequel about Finnick and Annie called Is There Life Out There? if you're interested. It's going to be pretty smutty if you're in the mood for that. lol. This chapter isn't smutty. But I'm very interested in hearing what you think about its content.
> 
> Happy reading!

Effie looked in the mirror and smoothed down the front of her blouse. It was bright yellow and had a pattern of daisies around the hem. She wore a pair of tight dark wash jeans. Her shoes were yellow with a heel that would be dangerous for most people to walk in, but not a former runway model.

Haymitch arrived and Cinna let him in. The men were in the middle of a conversation about the warmer weather when Effie walked in. Both cut off and Haymitch gave her an appreciative nod after taking in her appearance.

"You are beautiful." He sighed.

"You really think so? I used to have room in these pants. Not much anymore." She looked down and shook her head. "That was uncalled for. You gave me a compliment and I'm told I have to stop making excuses. Thank you, Haymitch. You look so handsome in that green shirt. It brings out the flecks of green in your eyes."

He gathered her close and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "Thank you. I'm so proud of you and your progress." He rubbed his hands over her arms. "Getting toned up. I bet you could pick me up."

She grinned. "Not yet. But I can almost bench a hundred without wanting to die after six lifts."

He laughed and kissed her again.

"You two have fun." Cinna said as Effie gathered her purse and keys at the door.

"Don't wait up." Effie told him with a wink.

They made themselves comfortable in a booth at a casual dining restaurant. Effie ordered water and smiled when Haymitch voiced his preference of a strawberry lemonade.

"I used to order rum and Coke. Or whiskey and Coke. Anything and Coke, so I'm not much of a soda drinker anymore. It's just not quite the same without alcohol. But I do like me some lemonade."

She giggled. "So what do you like here?"

"There's a jalapeño burger that's good."

She made a face. "Trying to cut back on the red meat. My trainer says too much isn't good." She read a little. "Ooh, blackened chicken. That sounds good."

"It does." He commented. "I think I'm going for a steak though. Twelve ounce T-bone. Rare." He sighed. "A cold beer would be nice."

She reached across the table and rubbed his hand. "I was just over here thinking of all the ways I can reduce the calories of my meal. And what I should give up for the next couple days to make up for it."

He turned his hand over and squeezed hers. "Recovery takes a long time."

"Will I ever get over it?" She asked softly, focusing on their joined hands.

"That depends on who you ask. Some people think it's a constant battle. Some people are sure there is a time when it won't be an issue. For me, at a place like this where it's everywhere," he picked up a special drinks menu and held it up, "I want all of these. And I've never been one for cocktails. Not even margaritas. But I can taste it just looking at the names of the drinks."

She lifted up his hand and kissed his knuckles. "We'll work on it together. For tonight, at least."

The waiter came back and handed them their drinks. "Ready to order?"

Effie said, "I'll take the six ounce sirloin, medium well, with a baked potato and the steamed veggies. Please put plenty of butter on that potato." She smiled and handed over her menu.

Haymitch squeezed her hand and ordered his own steak with the same sides. "You know you don't have to eat all of that."

She nodded.

"But if you do, we can go back to my place and lapse into a food coma."

She giggled and rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand. "Better to pass out from too much food than too much alcohol, right?"

"Right." He leaned over and kissed her softly. "So tell me about your day."

"It was a day." She shrugged. "Not very eventful."

"Did you make anything pretty today?"

"No. But Cinna did." She swirled her straw around in her water. "I like working with him, but I'm not an artist and I'm not sure I fit in the fashion world anymore."

"So what do you like?"

She shrugged again. "Not sure anymore. I used to be. I was in control of everything."

"You'll figure it out." He smiled. "When I was in high school I played football. I was really good, even got a decent scholarship to play in college. Then I got to the drinking really bad and that ended that. Dropped out of school and went on a really long bender. Iris married Caleb and he helped me get clean and I found a new purpose helping other people recover. It all just takes time."

She kissed his hand again. "I don't think I want to model anymore, that's for sure. I'm too old anyway."

"Any help you need, let me know."

She smiled. "Would you say that to anyone else?"

"Depends on who it is."

"Your sister?"

"Yes. But my patience is wearing thin and I hate it."

"Your nieces?"

"Yes. But Katniss wouldn't ask unless she had no other choice. Prim would ask if Katniss would let her." He slipped his arm around her back. "But no one else. No one else deserves it."

"So what makes me so special?" Effie asked, leaning into his touch.

Haymitch rubbed a spot between her shoulder blades. "A lot of things."

"Like what?"

"Like the fact that you are so strong and you are so sweet and you are talented and kind and…loving. You're a good friend. A good girlfriend. If I can call you my girlfriend."

She smiled. "I'd like very much to be your girlfriend."

* * *

They went back to his place and cuddled up on the couch to watch TV for a while. Both had eaten so much they didn't feel like moving.

Effie yawned and stretched after a while. "I'm ready for bed."

Haymitch watched her a moment. "For sleeping or sex?"

She laughed. "I'm not really in the mood."

"Me neither. I'll get the lights and double-check the door."

"And I'm going to go put on one of your giant t-shirts and get comfortable." She kissed his cheek and bounced toward the other end of the house. She changed and settled into the bed just as Haymitch came into the room.

He stripped down to his underwear and climbed into bed with Effie. They shared a kiss. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." She draped her arm over his chest and drifted off to sleep pretty quickly.

It took him much longer. He watched her sleep. She was peaceful. She was always calm and chipper, but her eyes told a different story. And in sleep, they were no longer stressed or calculating every bite she took or how many steps she had to take.

Haymitch finally fell into a light sleep after Effie rolled away. He had always been a light sleeper, but a night of sex with Effie usually knocked him out cold for at least a while. Tonight was different, though. So every time she adjusted her position, it jolted him awake.

She suddenly rolled over and tried to wrap herself around him. He pushed her away. "It's too hot." He mumbled and rolled away.

"Sorry." Her voice sounded pitiful and he heard her sniff.

"Effie?"

"I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine." He put his hand on her hip and pulled gently until she rolled back over. "Talk to me."

She blinked a few times and then wiped her eyes. "I had a dream that you decided you didn't want me anymore. And you were calling me all sorts of rude names and making fun of me for my eating habits. And you said I was fat and you didn't date fat girls." Her voice finally broke and she rolled over to press her face into the pillow.

He rubbed her back. "I'm very proud of your eating habits. And I like the way you treat yourself and how you're healing. And I'm not falling in love with your body, I'm falling in love with your personality. But as far as the body goes..."

She turned her head. "Did you say you're falling in love with me?"

"You have a great bone structure." He said with a smirk. "And a really cute nose."

She turned and shoved his shoulder. "What was that part about falling in love with me?"

"And your hands have worked wonders."

She pushed him onto his back and hovered over him. "Answer me, Haymitch."

"Slip of the tongue." He rubbed his hands down her back.

She straddled his hips and sat back. "You know, I hear somewhere that when you make a slip of the tongue it really means you wanted to say something and didn't know what to say."

He smiled and pushed the shirt up until her hips were exposed. "Maybe I'm just not ready to say it."

"And that's fine. I just want acknowledgement that you said you were falling in love with me."

"Come down here." He pulled her down to lie on his chest. "I had this girlfriend in high school. She was killed by a jealous ex-boyfriend. I told her I loved her for the first time the day she died."

"Well, I promise I don't have any jealous exes. I don't have any exes. One night stands, remember? Not even a high school boyfriend. So you can tell me you love me if you want. I'm not going anywhere." She kissed him. "And I love you."

He smiled and rubbed her back. "Give me a little more time."

"Okay." She yawned and moved away. "I'm going back to sleep. But I like it when you put your hand on my hip."

He moved behind her and rested his hand on her hip. He kissed the back of her head. "I'm so glad you're in my life, Effie."

She placed her hand on top of his. "I am too."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get this update to you, but I hope you feel the contents were worth the wait.
> 
> Happy reading!

Haymitch walked into the clinic and was confronted by Coin. "My office. Now."

"Good morning to you, too." He mumbled as he followed her inside.

"What are you doing with Effie Trinket?" She demanded.

"Doing with her?" He was sure they had been careful.

"You were spotted out with her at a restaurant looking very chummy."

"And who claims to have spotted us?"

"Glimmer Matthews. She was out with her boyfriend and she said she swore she saw you two. Now, I don't like to make assumptions about people, but you and I both know the rules. So if she did see the two of you out together, I sure hope it was a one-time thing. You are risking your career dating a woman in our treatment."

"Yes, ma'am."

"I will not give you another warning, Haymitch. She's one of our clients."

"I understand." He got up and left her office without another word. He quickly sent Effie a text, " _We were seen._ " He let himself into his office and booted up his computer.

Effie quickly replied, " _What does that mean for us?_ "

" _We can't get together for a while. I could lose my job._ " He rubbed his face.

Her next reply took longer. " _How long is a while?_ "

" _I don't know. But I can't lose my job._ "

" _I understand._ "

" _I'm sorry, Effie._ " He sat his phone off to the side and waited for her response, but none came as he waited for his first client of the day to arrive. He shut the phone off and put it aside.

She didn't send another text for the rest of the day. And maybe it was a good thing. But he couldn't stop thinking about what it meant for their future. Because he had wanted to tell her how he felt about her and was too scared of the words. He wasn't the kind of guy to bear his soul in the way he did around her and it frightened him to no end that he always ended up telling her those secrets about himself that no one else knew.

He ran into Glimmer in the break room. She was alone. He almost let it go, but decided he had to say something.

"I don't know where you think you have the right to rat out a guy on a date when I know you've fucked clients in your office who were patients residing in the facility at the time."

She smiled at him. "I don't know what you mean."

"Cut the shit, Glimmer. Tell me what I did that made you think you needed to tell on me."

"You dumped your client on me." She said. "And then I had to hear about this 'perfect guy' she was dating every week for two hours. And then I found out it was you and I couldn't believe it. And it's against the rules."

"What you did was against the rules. Should I bring that to Coin, too?"

"You wouldn't."

"No, I wouldn't. Because I'm not petty. But you're a bitch." He poured himself a cup of coffee and left the room.

Haymitch tried calling Effie as he drove home, but it went to voicemail. "I just wanted to talk. I'm sorry about this. But I don't want to stop talking to you. We just can't meet up anymore. I'm sorry. Please call me back."

* * *

Effie stayed in bed all day after Haymitch's text. She alternated between sobbing into her pillow and staring at the ceiling. She refused to eat. And she wouldn't talk to Cinna.

He finally sat down beside her on the bed and handed her a steaming cup.

"What's this?" She asked.

"Tea. And you're going to tell me what's wrong." He drank from his own cup.

"Haymitch and I…what we're doing is against the rules. And someone saw us out last night." Her phone started ringing and she looked at it. She grumbled when she saw Haymitch's name and she hit ignore. "He could lose his job." A sob escaped her. "I never meant to threaten his way of life. But I've never been happier than when I'm with him and I don't know how I'm going to go on if we can't see each other anymore."

He took her cup and her phone and then pulled her into his arms. She cried into his shoulder until she was again exhausted. She pulled up his texts and handed the phone to him.

"He's not saying he _doesn't_ want to see you." Cinna pointed out.

"I know. But if he could lose his job… It comes down to what's more important."

"What if you transferred your treatment?"

"I don't know if I can." She sniffed.

"He left you a voicemail." He held out the phone.

Effie listened to the message and shook her head. She put her phone away. "He wants to talk. I can't talk."

"So don't." Cinna rubbed her back. "Let's go make dinner and put on a movie."

"I want a drink."

"Effie, you can't drink."

"Like hell I can't." She got out of the bed and walked to the other side of the house. She opened the cabinet that held the wine she had only used for cooking in the time that she had lived there. She knew Cinna drank it and she was usually okay with watching him have a drink with dinner. But she was okay with sipping juice or water while he sipped his wine.

She took out a bottle at random and opened it. She took out a glass and filled it almost to the rim. She held her nose over it and breathed in deeply. She let out a sigh.

Cinna walked in. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Effie locked eyes with him as she took the first sip. "Mmm." She took a bigger drink. "I've missed this."

He picked up the bottle and put the cork back in. "No more."

She grabbed the bottle back from him. "I'll drink as much as I want."

"Effie, he didn't break it off. He just wants to back off for a while. I listened to the message. He wants to talk."

"Well, I don't want to talk." She brought the wine into her bedroom and closed the door behind her.

* * *

Effie finished the glass and poured another, but she didn't drink it. She sat it on the table beside her bed and stared at it. She hadn't had a drink in so long and hadn't eaten anything all day, so the single glass she'd consumed already gave her a faint buzz. It wasn't enough to actually get her tipsy, but it was enough to _feel_ it.

The doorbell rang as she kept her eyes on the glass. She heard two voices approach her door. She recognized them as Cinna and Haymitch. She looked around for her phone and realized it wasn't there. Cinna must have taken it upon himself to call Haymitch.

There was a tap on her door.

She picked up the glass and the bottle and opened the door. She held them out. "I drank one glass and that was it. Please don't bother me anymore."

Cinna took the wine from her and backed away.

She tried to close the door, but Haymitch put up his hand. "Let me talk to you."

"It's not worth your job, Haymitch." She tried to close the door.

"Let me talk to you, Effie." He repeated. "Please?"

She looked over his shoulder at Cinna and then nodded and stepped back. She closed the door behind Haymitch and walked toward the bed. She sat and pulled a pillow to her chest.

"I've made a decision." Haymitch said as he paced back and forth.

"Okay."

"I have a ton of leave. A month worth. I'm going to take it and I'm going to spend some time with my sister and my nieces. You still have a month required in treatment. You finish that up and I will stay away."

"So we can't see each other anymore?"

"I don't want to go without seeing you. But we can't go on a real date again until your treatment is done. I want to make dinner with you. I want to sit with you on my couch and watch the news and complain about the world."

"Go to bed together? Make love? Fall asleep in a tangle of limbs?"

"All of it."

"Okay. You do what you need to do."

He leaned down and cupped her face. "And you keep getting better. No more wine. And go eat something, please. Cinna said you haven't at all today."

"Will you join us?"

"Okay." He pressed a kiss to her lips and held out his hand.

She slipped hers into it and allowed him to haul her to her feet. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her eyes into his shoulder. "You make me stronger, Haymitch."

He returned her embrace. "You make me feel like there are still good things in this world."

She looked up at him. "Really?"

He nodded. "I want you to meet my family."

"I want to meet them."

Effie picked at her food while the men ate seconds. Haymitch rubbed her leg under the table, but didn't say anything.

Cinna retired to his studio after the kitchen was cleaned up. Effie and Haymitch relaxed on the couch to watch TV for a while. He brushed his hand over her hair. She moved to rest her head on his lap and started to doze off.

"You should go to bed." Haymitch said.

"You should come with me." Effie said with a smile.

"I didn't bring any clothes."

"So just come have sex with me and then leave."

He chuckled. "Well, if you insist."

She got up and hauled him to his feet. She winked, slapped his bottom, and darted out of the room.

He followed and grabbed her up, throwing her over his shoulder. "I got you, woman." He said with a laugh. He threw her down on the bed and quickly started undressing.

She laughed and did the same.

They made love slowly, leisurely. Afterward, they lay together in silence for a long time. Haymitch needed to go home, but he was reluctant. Effie was almost asleep against his chest and for the life of him, he didn't want to lose this feeling.

But he had to go. He kissed her temple and slowly removed himself from underneath her. She rolled over and stretched and then rolled toward him once more. She watched him dress in silence for a while.

"I don't want you to leave." She said softly.

"I don't want to, but I can't stay."

"Why?"

"You know why." He sighed and pulled his shirt on.

She sat up against the headboard and pulled her knees to her chest. "I could go somewhere else."

"There's nowhere else close." He sat down and started pulling on his socks. "You're almost done. Just one more month. And then we can be a little more open about this."

Effie threw her arms around Haymitch's shoulders and kissed his ear. "I'm still invited to meet your family, though, right?"

"Yes." He rubbed her arm and turned his head to meet her lips. "I'm going to an AA meeting tomorrow. Want to come with me?"

"I've never been to one outside of the center." She kissed him again. "Do you think it's time?"

"I do. You need to figure out your meeting schedule. There are a few different options. You don't have to go with me if you don't feel comfortable, but you need to go outside of the center."

"Are you talking as my boyfriend or as a counselor?" She let him go and sat back.

"Boyfriend. Because of what happened tonight and because you need help outside the center. Because I care about you." He smiled and leaned close. He whispered so softly neither were entirely sure he said it until it was completely out of his mouth. "Because I love you."

Tears sprang to her eyes and she pulled him close for a deep kiss. "I love you, too." She said as she broke away. She smiled and kissed him again.

He chuckled. "Don't tell my nieces I said that, okay?"

She laughed. "We'll keep the declarations to ourselves. For so many reasons, least of all your humiliation with your nieces."

He nodded and kissed her one more time. He pulled his shoes on. "Meeting's at seven. I'll pick you up at fifteen till. If you decide you don't want to come, let me know."

"I'll come. As long as you take me home with you for a little while after."

"You got it." He leaned over her for one more kiss. He was very tempted to just stay there the rest of the night anyway, but he stood up with great resolve and left the house.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this update took so long. I'm the fool who decided to have three WIPs at once. This one is close to being done, though. Just a few more chapters, I think.
> 
> Happy reading!

"Are you sure you want us to meet this woman?" Iris asked as she set the table.

Haymitch grinned and finished forming the last patty, this one made of ground turkey for Effie. "I'm ready for you to."

"Haymitch has a girlfriend." Katniss sang as she walked into the house. She laughed and pointed to the bag of charcoal. "You want to do this part or do you want me to."

"I'll do it, thanks." He washed his hands. "You can help me, though." He walked out the back door. He pulled the grill away from the wall and took the lid and grate off. He picked it up and dumped the old ash into a trashcan he left nearby for the purpose.

Katniss sat the bag of charcoal down and opened it. "So Effie Trinket, huh? Sure she's not a porn star?"

He chuckled and started to stack the charcoal in the bottom of the grill. "Not a porn star. A model. And I hope you like her. I just want to warn you. She's a little over-the-top sometimes and I know you are just like me and prefer people that are a little calmer."

"So how did you even get to know her if she's so over-the-top? You avoid those people like the plague."

"I met her at a very low point in her life and she worked up to it as she got better, so she doesn't always act so giddy around me. She lets her guard down."

Katniss smiled. "That's kind of sweet." She handed over a lighter. "Doesn't get you out of the teasing, though."

Prim poked her head out the door. "I think your girlfriend is here."

Haymitch was almost giddy as he walked through the house to the front door. He opened it before Effie was even all the way to the front steps. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her hard on the mouth. He mumbled, "I'm so nervous."

She giggled. "Me too. I missed you and I love you."

"Same here." He kissed her once more and let her go. He took her hand and led her into the house. His sister and nieces stood in a cluster just outside the kitchen. Katniss had a calculating look on her face. Prim was barely able to hold in her excitement. Iris just looked indifferent.

Haymitch swept his hand toward Effie. "This is Effie."

Effie beamed and held out her hand to Iris. "You must be Iris. It is so lovely to meet you. Haymitch has told me a lot of fun stories about you two as kids. I can't wait to get the embarrassing side from you."

Iris smiled cautiously. "Sure thing."

She moved to Prim. "Primrose?"

Prim nodded and shook her hand. "Prim. It is so nice to meet you, Effie."

"Haymitch just adores you, Prim. I've heard nothing but good things about you."

Prim was even more excited after that. "We've heard a lot of good things about you, too."

"And you're Katniss?" Effie said, shaking the young woman's hand. "Haymitch says you're very smart and care a lot about your family. I look forward to getting to know you more."

Katniss just nodded. She looked over Effie's shoulder at Haymitch. "Way to go." She smiled at Effie. "Welcome to the family. If you screw it up… Well, I know how to use a bow. Let's just keep it at that." She walked out the back door to tend the grill.

Haymitch rubbed Effie's back and kissed her cheek. "Prim, why don't you get Effie a drink and I'll get the burgers on the grill? I made a turkey one for you."

"Thank you!" She grabbed his face and kissed him hard. "You're the best boyfriend ever!"

"I do what I can." He chuckled. He kissed her cheek and walked out with the patties. "So you like her." He stated.

Katniss laughed. "Yeah, she seems sweet. You could use sweet to smooth out your rough edges."

"She already has, I think." He grinned. "I'm risking my job, Katniss."

"How much longer does she have?"

"A month."

She nodded. "You can make it."

He knocked the coals over and placed the grate back on top. "Well, I took my vacation. That's a full three weeks. And I could probably use up a few sick days on the other end because I'm never sick."

"Then what?"

He shrugged. "I guess we'll do what we can from there."

A loud laugh erupted from inside and they both turned to see Effie telling the other two something with large hand gestures and all three were laughing.

"Well, I guess she's a hit. I haven't seen Mom laugh like that in a long time." Katniss said wryly. "Why don't you go in? I'll get this finished."

He pulled her into an awkward tight hug and then let her go without another word. Inside, he wrapped his arm around Effie's waist. She waved her hands around as she finished telling them about some runway mishap.

She finished and turned to Haymitch. With a giggle she grabbed his face and kissed him. "Are you making Katniss do all the work?"

He stroked her hair. "She volunteered. And there are plenty of other things to do we just have to wait for the burgers to be done."

She kissed him again and he looked away quickly. He didn't want his sister to see the emotion on his face.

Iris stood. "I can at least start chopping things for the salad."

Effie combed her fingers through Haymitch's hair and kissed his cheek. She pressed her lips to his ear and whispered, "I really did miss you today"

Haymitch smiled and squeezed her knee. He whispered, "Same."

Prim giggled. "I'll help Mom with the rest of the prep." She got up and started digging though the fridge.

Haymitch stood and pulled Effie into the other room. He pressed her against the wall and kissed her hard.

She smiled against his mouth before he finally pulled away. "I'm sorry I'm being all mushy."

"You can't really help it, can you? That's just the way you are. It's one of the things I love about you." He grinned and kissed her again.

"I love when you're so stoic." She squeezed his bottom and moved out from under him. "But I really like your smile." She walked out to the patio to talk with Katniss. He couldn't keep his eyes off her ass.

* * *

 

Effie smiled sweetly at Katniss. "Hello."

Katniss looked her over and made Effie self-conscious for a moment. "Hi."

She fought the urge to wrap her arms around herself. "You and your uncle are pretty close, huh?"

"What makes you say that?" Katniss flipped the burgers.

Effie kept on smiling. "Well, he talks about you almost like a best friend rather than a niece. He dotes on Prim and usually avoids too much serious talk about your mother, but you're there quite a bit."

Katniss smiled and nodded. "We've raised Prim together, pretty much. It brings people close, I guess. And he's a great person to vent to."

Effie said, "Well, you've done a fine job with Prim. She's really sweet and respectful."

"Thanks."

The door slid open and Haymitch stepped out. "Are those burgers still not done? You know you're pretty much useless when it comes to the grill."

"Shut up, you old windbag." Katniss chuckled. "It's almost done."

Effie retreated inside. They ate just a few minutes later. She tried a little of everything, but kept calculating all the things in her head that she was eating. She stopped after a while and pushed her plate away.

Haymitch rubbed her leg and she looked over. "You okay?" He asked softly.

She nodded and sipped her water. "Saving room for dessert." She said just as softly. She ignored the fact that she had eaten so little.

After everything was cleaned and put away Iris, Katniss, and Prim left. Effie watched them back out of the driveway and then pulled on Haymitch's shirt as she led him down the hall. She pushed him down on the bed and kissed him until she couldn't breathe.

He smiled up at her. "Did you have fun?"

"Not nearly as much as I'm about to have."

He laughed and rolled her beneath him. "I love you."

"That's the third time you've said that today."

"It's the first time I've actually said it, though. I'm not good with showing my emotions. You're going to have to bear with me on that front."

"You don't ever have to say it again if you don't want. Because I love you, too. And I know how well you show it even when you can't say it."

He kissed her, sliding his hand up her shirt. He cupped her breast and massaged it. He trailed his mouth down her neck.

"I want to marry you." She whispered.

He lifted his head and looked down at her. "You do?"

She bit her lip and nodded. "What do you think?"

He kissed her softly and moved away. "That's big, Effie."

She sighed and sat on the opposite side of the bed. "I'm sorry. I've always been all or nothing."

He wrapped his arms around her. "I'm not saying no. But we can't right now."

"I know. Because I'm still in treatment."

"And because we don't know each other. I want to keep dating you for a while. Then maybe we can move in together and discuss it more."

She reached up and tangled her fingers in his hair. "Do I have to leave?"

"I don't want you to."

"But do I have to?"

He kissed her neck. "No."

She turned and pushed him onto his back and returned to their earlier activity.

Effie was sure it got better every time. She came explosively with a loud cry that she was sure the neighbors heard. Haymitch wasn't much better. Spurred by her cries, he let out a loud string of curses.

He collapsed on top of her, panting heavily. He kissed her cheek when he finally regained his faculties and rolled away. "You were feeling a little insecure, weren't you?"

She watched him a moment and then nodded. "Yeah."

He pulled her onto his chest. "You are a vibrant woman. Please don't ever lose your shine."

"I'll do my best." She rubbed her hand over his chest. "I think I want to start going to church."

"Okay." He said softly.

"Will you come with me? At least the first time?"

He kissed the top of her head and gently scratched her back. "Sure."


	12. Chapter 12

Haymitch had not been to church since Caleb's funeral. He'd avoided them at all costs. It's not that he didn't believe in God, it's just that he didn't believe in being forced to follow a certain set of rules he didn't believe in completely.

But Effie had been hinting at this for a while before she finally asked him to go with her. So he dressed in his best shirt and a pair of slacks and headed out to pick her up. The church was the one where the AA/NA meets were held, so he knew it well. The preacher was sometimes around when the meetings took their breaks or at the start to welcome everyone. He'd offered prayers any time a person might need it.

Effie ran out of the house in a bright yellow dress that fell to her ankles and a pair of heels to match. He didn't know how she moved so well, but he wasn't a model. Her blond hair was pulled into a simple braid down her back. When she slid into the car and leaned over for a kiss, Haymitch wrapped his hand around the braid and tugged gently.

"Not that I'm complaining, but this isn't nearly as complicated as you usually do your hair." He commented.

She shrugged. "I saw Katniss's braid the other day and decided to try it out for myself. It looks bad, doesn't it? I didn't want to go to church with my hair in anything too elaborate."

"It looks great." Haymitch kissed her again and then took off. "Look, I know you're trying to find something new for yourself and I totally get it, but I want you to know that I don't know how I'm going to feel about this."

She rubbed his arm. "I understand. I just want to go to a new place with you at least the first time so it's not so awkward. If we like it, fine. If not, that's fine, too." She was quiet for a few minutes as she picked up his hand and trailed her fingertips over the palm. "I went every Sunday as a kid. When I first got into the modeling world, I was sort of teased for my faith. So I backed off. And the more I've been thinking about it, the more I think that's why I got so into the pills and the drinking and why I had so many problems with my body. I put my faith in the world. And now as I'm finally getting better, this feels like the last piece of the puzzle to me. So you never have to go with me again. But I'm going from now on."

He nodded. "You're a grown woman, Effie. I'm never going to hold you back. Dating or married or just friends, you make your choices and I'll support you."

She kissed his hand. "Thank you."

"You are very welcome."

Haymitch paid very little attention to the service. Instead, he watched Effie as she took it all in. Her face took on a new smoothness that he'd never seen before. Even in sleep, there were always worry lines around her mouth and eyes. Here she was…peaceful.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him. He saw her wipe at a tear as the preacher concluded his sermon. The final song started and the man walked to the back of the church.

"You okay?" Haymitch asked.

"More than okay." Effie turned and looked into his eyes. "I don't think I need help anymore. Not at the clinic, anyway."

"Effie—"

"No, listen. I had this thought, and we can discuss it more later, but you're on your vacation for two more weeks. I only have three left with the clinic. Three one hour sessions. Why should I keep going when I know how healthy I am now? I can do this. I don't need Glimmer. What I need is you. And if we're both not at the clinic, we don't have to hide anymore."

He smiled and placed his hand on her cheek. "As long as you're sure."

She nodded. "And my other thought is that we should just get married."

He chuckled. "I don't know about that one. Maybe just move in with me. We'll take these next two weeks to adjust."

She nodded and stood on her toes to brush a kiss over his lips.

Several members stopped them as they made their way out to welcome them and chat for a few minutes. They finally made their way to the back of the church with the last few congregants. Effie held back and waited.

She was the last to hold out her hand. "Hi, I'm Effie."

The preacher smiled. "Plutarch Heavensbee. It's always nice seeing new faces in the congregation. Are you new to town or just seeking a new church?"

"Seeking a new church. I came here for an NA/AA meeting the other day and I was intrigued by your speech and offering prayer for anyone that might need it. And I think I need it."

He smiled kindly. "I can pray for you right now."

Effie looked over her shoulder to Haymitch. "Maybe just say a few things in your normal prayers. I'm still in recovery and this feels like the next step. So if you don't mind, just keep me in your prayers this week and I'll be back on Sunday."

"I definitely will." He held out his hand to Haymitch. "Glad you came."

"Thanks. Me too. I'm Haymitch, by the way. Effie's boyfriend."

"Haymitch. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise."

Haymitch led Effie outside. They sat in the car for a few minutes silently. He looked over after a moment and then started the car. "You really found your place, Effie. I mean it. And I also meant it when I said I wanted you to move in with me. So if you do want to, we can go pack up your things and get them to my place."

"I don't have much."

"You won't need it. All my stuff becomes yours and I'll help you get anything else you could ever need or want."

"Would you mind if I still worked with Cinna?"

"Of course not! You live your life how you want. I said it before, you do what you want and I'll support you. In anything."

"And what if I decide to become a homemaker?"

He stopped at a red light. He looked over. "I don't want kids and you said you couldn't have them."

"I can't. And I never said anything about being a stay-at-home mom. I said a homemaker, a housewife. Take care of you and the house. Make sure your clothes are washed and put away and you have supper ready for you every night when you get home from work. Take care of you since you always take care of everyone else."

He patted her leg. "You're used to more extravagance than I am."

"I don't care. I can learn to budget. And I have a friend who is a clothing designer. He can hook me up with some good clothes at a discount. Besides, Cinna's been talking about opening up a shop and I could help part-time to help make some extra money without actually being gone as many hours as you." She rubbed his arm. "Like I told you, I want to take care of you, Haymitch."

He smiled and continued driving. "Okay."

"Okay, what?"

"If you want to be a homemaker, we can make it work."

She squealed and threw her arms around his neck. "I love you so much, Haymitch."

"I love you, too, Effie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! Thank you so much for reading. I am so glad you came along on this journey with me. There may be one shots, as usually happens. If you haven't yet, please go read Art and Other Distractions and the start of Is There Life Out There? as these are all part of the same series. I look forward to sharing more with you.
> 
> Please come visit me on Tumble. I'm booksrockmyface over there.


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